The Broken Image: Restoring Personal Wholeness Through Healing Prayer by Leanne Payne

Author:Leanne Payne
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Homosexual, Social Science, Gay, Gay Studies, Sexual Immorality, Lesbian
ISBN: 9781441201195
Publisher: Baker Books
Published: 1995-08-31T22:00:00+00:00

Cases Where Infantile Deprivation Is Not the Prime Factor

I have seen cases where lesbian behavior is connected to a woman’s need to be set free from the effects of having an extremely possessive and dominating mother. Two were so identical that I tell them as one in order to stress this particular need for healing of the soul. These two attractive married women, their stories strikingly similar yet entirely unrelated, realized (alarmingly enough) that their lesbian behavior would not have occurred before their entrance into the Church. I will speak of what they had in common in order to show why this could be.

Both women entered into the world of loving and satisfying relationships only after they were converted to Christ and began to be part of a body of caring Christians. This was tremendously exciting for them, and each in her own respective geographical sphere had great freedom to share her newfound joy with others. Also, both were strong women, and once freed to relate meaningfully to others, their leadership capacities came to the fore. Each, however, fell into a lesbian relationship after failing to realize that her understanding of what it means to love another was faulty. Moreover, neither could discern the difference between agape, God’s love that heals, and the human loves—affection, friendship, and eros, erotic love—through which they were attempting to minister. At the very least, the kinds of love got grievously mixed in their attempts to help a close friend, and each woman ended by misusing and perverting the human loves in order to meet her own needs and the needs of another.

Behind this behavior was a possessive and dominating mother, one they’d fled from geographically, but were still tied to emotionally and psychologically. This was evident in their attempts to appease and please their mothers, though both knew this to be an impossible task. Their very telephones were threatening instruments, the wires of which could at any moment turn into grotesque umbilical cords connecting them again to mom’s voice and mom’s will. Yet each still craved her mother’s approval, and still hoped to win it. And each still feared her wrath and displeasure, because it was too painful and long-lasting to endure or attempt to battle. Before their conversions, both women had feared close or intimate friendships because of the conflicts they had grown up expecting to be part of “love.” Though both had hated this dominating and devouring kind of love, they had to face the fact that the thing they hated most was a part of themselves.

I have never known more well-meaning women, nor women more anxious to do God’s will than these, and therefore both quickly saw what had happened in them. A seed of a possessive and devouring love[17] (that which each had experienced with her own mother) had come up in themselves; and as it was carnal and even diabolical in nature, it was easily sexualized. In order to restore spiritual wholeness, the women had to confess the sin of inordinate love (a spiritual sin) and the lust (a sin of the body) that issued from it.

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